Memory of a one-of-a kind Matriarch.....blog post by Venaya Yazzie

Grief............ It always seems to follow behind or stand beside me. It seems to lingers in the shadows of the giant cottonwood trees. It seems to lie beside bosque at the Animas river. I have witnessed how grief has changed my life path. So, what do I do when grief becomes so grand in my path? Well, I chose to walk around it. I intentionally chose to move on and scold it away. Even though I still mourn the passing of my family's matriarch, I know I must always choose to keep going, or as my grandmother would say "keep trucking."............. It's been over three years since my "masani'" my "mom" - my maternal grandmother passed onto the next world. I miss her daily, I think of how she was, smiling and gleaming with happiness for life. I miss the everyday tasks of home life with her. She made amazing dough for bread torillas. I miss seeing her in the kitchen. I miss just driving with her beside me, telling her stories of the past - about our family and about the land and historical landscape. She was my best friend, my heart..............

I am so very grateful to have lived beside her and to have laughed and cried with her when she was here in the space called earth. Because of my faith in God, I know I will see her again....

I share this because I was honored to write a blog post for the New Mexico Humanities Council, for the Pasa por Aqui blog. I have titled my post, Pre-pandemic grief, ancestral memory, mourning the world in 2020 and healing in the present. ................................... I composed it for many reasons that I feel are universal in much of humanity's experience, both past and present. Please vist at: .................................................................................. Pre-pandemic grief, ancestal memory, mourning the world in 2020 and healing in the present